What I do is communicate through dance, music, and this very article. Who I am is a Rabbi that once led this great synagogue. As Rabbi Emeritus, I often reflect on those years in awe for both the journey it took me to become a Rabbi and the lives along the way that have impacted me, and hopefully, I affected as well.
Since childhood, my goal was to prosper despite being afflicted with dyslexia. Dyslexia, while a challenge, encouraged me to become an achiever, much to the chagrin of my school teachers who had little faith in my ability to succeed. I could sit here and feel sorry for myself, but dyslexia gave me the highest platform to grow and reach mountains I could not have imagined. It gave me the strength and dedication to never give up and to become a husband, father, a Rabbi and a community leader to care for others. In June 2005, I retired from Temple Beth El, ready to bask in a life of pure bliss and relaxation.
Yet, G-d had its own life plans for me when I was diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease. As Michael J. Fox describes the disease, “Parkinson’s is the gift that keeps on taking, one little bit at a time.” And yet, to add to Fox’s description, Parkinson’s has also been a gift that has opened up an entire world of expression that I never knew I had within me.
Parkinson’s Disease (PD) is a disorder of the nervous system, also known as a movement disorder. PD occurs when brain cells that make dopamine, a chemical that coordinates movement, stops working. To put it bluntly, with an impairment like PD it makes it harder to be as relevant and available as I used to be to my community, colleagues, friends, and family. There is a level of detachment you experience, and in many ways, are forced to accept in this new life. As much as I do not care to admit it, Parkinson’s has taken its toll on me, and I have changed in a multitude of ways over the last several years.
On a lighter note, I practice ballet at the Boca Ballet Theater, both in-person pre-Covid and now through Zoom. A practice I shunned at first, I now eagerly look forward to the art of dance as the vehicle to help my balance and walking while relishing my creative energy. And if I may say so myself, I am sure my family is impressed with my new ballet moves! That being said, the Boca Ballet is open to all, and I welcome you to join me for an upcoming online ballet class or in-person when able.
In addition to movement therapy, I discovered a type of freedom and hope in singing. For the past few years I have been involved with a choral group for people living with Parkinson’s, and this platform of music has been the language that enables me to accept my new world as less than perfect. The curative power and therapeutic value of singing music for restoring my voice lie in the flexibility to change tempo, rhythm, key, or to move seamlessly from song to song with complete clarity. It is as if Parkinson’s did not exist within my being. The creation of the choral group was driven by Judith Simon, founder of TAP: The Alzheimer’s Project. With her vision she answered the need for a music-based support group for people with PD in the South Florida area. Through this music group, singing enhances our improvement in social engagements and strengthens our vocal ability, which in turn heightens our self-esteem. What remains beautiful about the specific program is that song gives us a new purpose and a newfound hope rather than feeling withdrawn from life and enslaved to our illness. Music provides us a common ground, a shared joy, and a new sense of meaning to our life.
While the physical and vocal ailments remain evident to the public, what remains hidden is the emotional part of the illness. Our reasoning becomes more circular, and our emotions become constrictive, and our thinking leads us to a path of hopelessness, and as a result, we withdraw and feel frozen in time. And it is through resources such as ballet and The Parkinson’s Choir that remind me and my fellow constituents of PD that there is hope. As long as you have someone or something to help and give support, there is a higher purpose and meaning to our lives, the lives of people with PD. When support is gone – when all we have is ourselves and no one else, the idea of a future is depleted. Without care and concern for others – this world remains stagnant. For those who cannot see beyond their own wants and needs, who only live for themselves, hope is an empty phrase for everyone. When we find ways to help others, we help build a brighter future.
Finding ways to enhance the confidence in others rewards those like myself with the reason to move forward each day. So, for every person out there, family, friend, community member, and colleague who has given me support and faith, I thank you. From dancing to my active participation in singing with the choir, my hope remains strong, and with that, I can still reach milestones I never knew possible.
If there is any congregant or member out there reading this article, and it resonates, and this is something you need, then join me next time at my choir practice. The requirement: if you can sing “Happy Birthday”, you are in! We meet on Zoom Mondays at 3:30 pm for an hour and most recently, in person at SFC. We also welcome anyone (no age requirement) who wants just to enjoy the sound of music and offer support and encouragement. For more information, contact Judy Simon at [email protected] or 914-672-1892.
Rabbi Merle E. Singer
Rabbi Merle E. Singer is Temple Beth El’s Rabbi Emeritus. He retired in 2005 after serving as the Temple’s senior spiritual leader for 28 years. During that time, the Temple grew from a small congregation to one of the largest and most vibrant synagogues in the United States.
