Re-membering Responsibility: Shabbat Message by Rabbi Dan Levin

In just a few weeks, we will gather for Rosh HaShanah, the celebration of the New Year.

The Torah calls Rosh HaShanah Yom HaZikaron – the “day of remembrances.” To honor the New Year, we are asked to remember – how we lived, what we accomplished, and how we chose to use the gift of life we were given.

The act of remembering is in some ways “re-membering” – taking ownership and responsibility for our experience and our lives.

The Hebrew word for responsibility is אחריות – Achariyut. There are two ways to look at the root of this word.

One root is אחר – Achar – which means “after”. Taking responsibility is about owning what came “after” – recognizing the consequences of our actions, our words, and our deeds.

But also embedded in אחריות – Achariyut is אחר – Acher – which means “other.” Taking responsibility also requires that we move beyond our self-concern, and consider our obligations for the life and experience of the “other.”

To take responsibility for someone else is to say to the other – I am you. You are me. What happens to you needs to matter to me. The quality of my life needs to be defined by the quality of yours.

It’s like the story of the people in a lifeboat after a shipwreck. Someone starts to drill a hole in the bottom of the boat under their seat. The other survivors yell, “Hey! Stop!” The other person looks up at everyone else and says, “What’s it to you? I’m drilling under my own seat!”

In his “Letter From A Birmingham Jail,” Martin Luther King wrote: “In a real sense all life is inter-related. All men are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly. I can never be what I ought to be until you are what you ought to be, and you can never be what you ought to be until I am what I ought to be…”

In the Pirke Avot, Rabban Yohanan asked his friends what are the best traits a person should have. Rabbi Eliezer said a person should have “a good eye” – meaning that a person should always look for good in the world, and look for the opportunities to do good as well. Rabbi Yehoshua said a person should be “a good companion” – a loyal and trusted friend. Rabbi Yose said, “a good neighbor” – someone whose concern extends beyond the boundaries of their own household.

But Rabbi Shimon said, “one who sees what is born” – meaning one who is thoughtful and deliberate in their actions, and considers the outcome and consequences of their deeds.

Part of becoming our best selves requires us to take responsibility for “what is born” from our actions. Sometimes when we act, what we intended to happen comes to pass. And sometimes what occurs are things we never imagined. We have to take ownership over all that follows from what we do, no matter what we meant or intended.

In addition to looking out for the other, I need to take responsibility for the consequences of my own actions.

The Mussar scholar Alan Morinis writes: “Responsibility … reflects a central thrust of spiritual growth, which is to rise up and beyond living in our small self who is interested only in gratification of the present, to evolve into the larger self who, from its elevated vantage point, can see and take in both the larger sweep of time and the living presence of others. Responsibility is both the means and the fruit of that evolution.”

Living a spiritual life is living a responsible life – living each day like an artist of life. Imagine we could cultivate a depth of awareness where we truly considered the impact and consequences of every deed we committed and every word we uttered.

That level of awareness is so hard to attain. So this season reminds us to “re-member” our moments when we were callous or ignorant, to take responsibility for when we did not consider how our actions would be felt, or when we ignored the needs of others.

We can be better. We can do better. We can be more careful, more aware, more conscious and conscientious.

Let’s get to work.

Shabbat Shalom,