One of the greatest privileges of serving as a rabbi is being invited into people’s lives at tender moments. I am blessed to sit with you and your families as you navigate moments of illness, loss, transition, and transformation. Even in the midst of difficulty, I watch as people find meaning in their experiences and uncover sparks of joy and gratitude.
I have gleaned so much wisdom from seeing the world through others’ eyes. I approach life with gratitude and remind myself throughout the day to look through the lens that brings blessing and love into focus. I find great strength and inspiration in the living Torah of people’s lives.
Alongside that living Torah, the sacred words of our tradition offer profound guidance for discovering meaning in our own stories. This week we read from Parshat Vayigash where we continue reading the story of Joseph. It is an episodic saga filled with dreams and technicolor coats, sibling rivalry (to put it mildly), betrayal, plot twists and power. Joseph’s life unfolds through a series of moments that lead him from favored son to prisoner and ultimately to second in command of Egypt. Vayigash contains many emotional scenes, but I want to focus on one in particular.
Joseph finally makes himself known to his brothers, and they are overcome with fear. What will their powerful brother, whom they threw into a pit and sold into slavery many years ago, do to them? Joseph does something unexpected. He weeps and says: “Do not be afraid, my brothers. All that has happened to me was not because of what you did alone. It was God’s will that I be in this place, at this time, to save you from famine.”
Standing before his brothers, he sees his life from a different vantage point. The experiences that felt only painful and unjust; he sees them as moments that shaped him and positioned him to do good. Rabbi Jonathan Sacks teaches, “Joseph’s greatness lies in his ability to reframe his life story and find meaning. We cannot change the past. But by changing the way we think about the past, we can change our future.” This is not to suggest denying the realities of our past but rather acknowledging that we are not bound to a single interpretation of our story.
Zooming out and seeing our lives from a broader perspective, even in moments of pain, fear and challenge, can teach us something about who we are and how we choose to live.
I am constantly amazed by the resilience of the human spirit. Recently, I was listening to an interview with Eli Sharabi, who survived 491 days of captivity. He described the grueling conditions and horrific torture he endured by Hamas. His words were haunting. In his reflections, he shared something deeply moving. He spoke about the year he spent with a younger Israeli, Alon Ohel, in the tunnels.
Eli said, “As I think back on that year, Alon looked to me for strength and guidance on how to get through each day. I realize that in that horrible place I became a father again.” At the time, Eli did not yet know that his wife and daughters had been murdered in their home on October 7th, after he was taken. Months later, in this joint interview sitting next to Alon, who was released after 738 days, he realized something essential within him could never be taken away, his capacity to offer presence and love to another human being in need.
As I listened, I heard him widen the frame of his life. He did not remove the pain nor minimize the trauma. He allowed himself to see his story through a lens that restored meaning and purpose to his soul. Reframing, as it is defined in psychology, is the ability to shift one’s perspective to cultivate resilience, agency and meaning.
This is also a spiritual practice. It asks us to acknowledge that while we cannot always change our circumstances, we do have the power to shift our perspective and see our lives through another lens. When we do, moments of pain and vulnerability may also reveal opportunities for understanding, growth, and possibility.
As we approach the secular New Year, 2026, we stand at the three-month spiritual check in point, post High Holy Days. It is a natural time to pause and reflect. We can ask ourselves, how might we reframe our hurts, regrets, and disappointments, and see them as openings rather than endpoints? How might we, like Joseph, interpret our stories to bring gratitude and grace to the forefront of our vision?
Here is a ritual to help us hone our spiritual focus as we prepare for 2026.
Take out a piece of paper. Focus on one area of your life that feels heavy, challenging, or is a source of pain or frustration.
Write one sentence that captures how you usually understand this part of your story. Be honest.
Now widen the frame. Ask yourself: “What is a different way of seeing/understanding this experience?”
Take a breath. Re-orient yourself. “As I zoom out, I am choosing to see…” This sentence asks you to look a little deeper and reframe this part of your story.
Place the paper in a frame. Let it be a reminder that you have the ability to see your life through different lenses. The experience of shifting our perspective can be powerful and transformative.
As we welcome the New Year 2026, in just a few days, may we trust that even when we cannot change what has been, we can choose how we will be, as we strive to see our lives through a lens of gratitude, purpose, and hope.
Shabbat Shalom.
Rabbi Laila Haas
