In 1868, our nation was still reeling from the Civil War. With communities scarred by factional division, soldiers recovering from injury and disease, Ann Jarvis of Virginia organized a “Mother’s Friendship Day.” Although she was threatened with violent resistance, she worked to bring families from the Union and the Confederacy together to build a sense of community, a repair of the wounds of the war.
Two years later, Julia Ward Howe, author of the “Battle Hymn of the Republic,” wrote what became known as her “Mother’s Day Proclamation,” an appeal to womanhood throughout the world and a call for an international body of women to work to avoid bloodshed and war.
Both Jarvis and Howe believed that women, and especially mothers, were best suited to bring people together with the goal of peace.
So, when Ann Jarvis died on the second Sunday in May 1905, her daughter Anna Jarvis sought to establish that day as a national Mother’s Day. As the world was about to plunge into World War I, President Wilson proclaimed the first national Mother’s Day in 1914, a timely reminder of the previous generation’s struggle against violence and the maternal instinct of the pursuit for peace.
If Mother’s Day is meant to be a day for holiness and the pursuit of peace, then this weekend’s celebration aligns perfectly with our Torah portion this Shabbat, Acharei Mot-Kedoshim. The portion begins with Acharei Mot, after the death of two of Aaron’s sons, who had drawn too close to the presence of the Holy One. God instructs Moses to make clear boundaries of who can enter into the Holy of Holies. God then presents the ritual for Yom Kippur, when the sins of the Israelite nation were to be transferred onto the scapegoat. The scapegoat was to be sent off into the wilderness while an offering asking for forgiveness was to be made. If we think about this moment through the lens of the aftermath of the Civil War, a nation in need of forgiveness, healing, and reeling from the death of 600,000 of our children, the words of the portion speak directly to the generation of Ann Jarvis, reeling Acharei Mot, after the death of so many.
What follows in the parashah is known as the Holiness Code, a litany of instructions to the Israelite nation, and to us the Jewish people, of how to live lives of holiness. Among other things, we are told to be generous to the needy, to be honest and trustworthy, not to take advantage of the disabled, and not to bear grudges or take vengeance. Essentially, we are told how to live ethical, moral lives, and that that is the path to holiness that the Holy One wants for us.
I can imagine that as the Israelites processed the loss of two priestly princes, simple yet poignant ethical guidance was a grounding salve to their sense of dismay. Getting back to basics and focusing on how we treat one another, the heart of what it means to be Jewish, was an essential part of their healing process, and can be for us as well.
Embedded within the code is the command, “You each shall revere your mother and your father, and keep My Shabbats, I am Adonai your God.” And our reverence for our mothers is elevated to the level of holiness.
Just as Ann Jarvis hoped that a day committed to our mothers would be seen as a holy day, our tradition elevates our love for our mothers to a holy act. The rabbis of our tradition, commenting on the placement of the command to revere our mothers alongside our commitment to Shabbat, see a throughline through the act of creation. Just as Shabbat is a weekly celebration of the Creation, they taught, so too, our mothers (and yes, our fathers) have a creationary role. As each set of parents brings the next member of the next generation into the world, they partner with the Holy One in creating humanity. Parenthood, motherhood, they each are a holy act, and an act of holiness. That, our portion teaches, cannot be exalted too greatly.
Ironically, in the eyes of its founder Ann Jarvis, Mother’s Day became so corrupted with commercialization that in 1943 she tried to have it cancelled. She despised the fact that it was greeting card companies and florists who were benefitting most from the day, far outstripping the women who the day was meant to honor.
I’d like to think that the lesson from our portion that we could teach to Mrs. Jarvis, to the many who agree with her, and to all who engaged meaningfully in Mother’s Day, is that we should shower the women who created and raised us in love with gifts, cards, flowers – whatever she would want to feel appreciated. But, those gifts are fleeting. The true expression of Mother’s Day goes beyond that one day, or the one gift, but is to recognize the holiness in the act of motherhood. One day isn’t enough to do that, nor is a year. How we live out the values our mothers’ have taught us, how we have taken the holiness they gave us and shared it with the world, that is the true way in which we can celebrate our mothers’ contributions to our lives and to the world, and that is a lifelong commitment, and an act of holiness.
Shabbat Shalom,
